Wanting to feel part of something can put pressure on you to act in certain ways. If you’re doing something you wouldn’t normally do, or are not doing something you’d like to do, simply so that you’ll be accepted by the people you hang out with, you’re suffering from peer pressure.
Peer pressure can influence:
The way you dress or wear your hair
The activities you get involved in
The music you listen to
Your decisions about using drugs and alcohol
Who you date
Who you’re friends with.
The pressure to act in a certain way can be:
direct: someone telling you what you should be doing
Indirect: your group of friends might do certain activities together that you’re unlikely to do outside of that group
Self-motivated: putting pressure on yourself to fit in with your friendship group, because of certain standards they’ve set or comments they’ve made.
Is Peer Pressure Always Bad?
Usually, the way that the term peer pressure is used is describing a negative influence that one peer, or group of peers, has on another person. The term is often used when describing how a previous well-behaved young person developed problematic behaviors, especially related to alcohol or drug use.
However, in reality, the influence that people have on one another can be either positive or negative, so in another way, peer pressure could be applied to either socially desirable or socially undesirable behaviors. For example, peer pressure could influence a young person to become involved in sports. This involvement could be positive, leading to exposure to healthy lifestyles and role models, and eventually leading the young person to become a positive role model herself.
On the other hand, that same peer pressure could lead the same young person to over-identify with sports, putting exercise and competition above all else. If taken to an extreme, she may develop exercise addiction , resulting in health problems, and causing her to neglect her schoolwork, other social activities, and ultimately, using exercise and competition in sports as her main outlet for coping with the stresses of life.
Parents often worry about peer pressure, particularly in relation to potentially addictive activities, such as
alcohol and drug use and sexual behavior, and to a lesser extent, food and eating patterns, video game playing, gambling, shopping and spending, and illegal activities. Parents are rarely concerned about peer pressure to engage in sports and
exercise , as these are typically seen as healthy social behaviors. This is appropriate, as long as the exercise or sport does not become an unhealthy way of coping, excessive to the point of negatively affecting their health, or dangerous (as in dangerous sports).
Addiction is a complex process, which is affected by many different factors, so peer pressure alone is unlikely to cause an addiction.
Peer Pressure Does Not Just Affect Kids
Peer pressure is usually applied to younger people, especially teenagers. Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to peer pressure , because they are at a stage of development when they are separating more from their parents' influence, but have not yet established their own values or understanding about human relationships or the consequences of their behavior. They are also typically striving for social acceptance at this stage, and may be willing to engage in behaviors that will allow them to be accepted that are against their better judgment.
However, adults can also be vulnerable to peer pressure. Many adults drink too much because it is the only way they can have a social life. They see others in a casino having a big win and it encouraging them to keep on gambling. They look at their boss getting a promotion and put work before family. So being aware of, and carefully choosing the influence of peers that will lead to healthy and happy experiences is a lifelong process.
How to deal with peer pressure
Peer pressure isn’t always a bad thing; sometimes it can be good, such as when your friends stop you from doing something dumb that you’ll later regret. But often peer pressure can be linked to negative stuff. Check out the following examples of peer pressure and consider some tips for dealing with them.
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