Short-term impact of separation and divorce on children
In the short-term, parental separation and divorce leaves children struggling emotionally. Anger and sadness are normal, regardless of your child's age - even if they are adults!
Sadness can lead to isolation, loneliness, and social difficulties. Children may also underperform academically as a result of their parent's break-up. Anger can also be seen as children grapple with feelings of abandonment, guilt, worry or blame towards another parent. All of these emotions are normal and should be expected. However, if deep anger or sadness continues beyond two to three months then you should seek counselling for your child.
Another important short-term challenge is that children often believe they are responsible for their parent's separation. Children are particularly vulnerable to these kinds of thoughts between the ages of three and eight. It is up to you to assure them that they are not responsible for your decision to separate from their other parent.The Short-Term Effects Of Divorce On Children:
Children who witness a divorce could be disturbed by the thought of not seeing their parents together again. Following are some of the immediate short-term effects of divorce on children:
Anxiety: The aftermath of a divorce causes the child to become tense, nervous, and anxious. Young children are more prone to it than the older ones since they are heavily dependent on both the parents. An anxious child will find it difficult to concentrate on his studies and may lose interest in activities that he once found enticing.
Constant stress: According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, many children falsely consider themselves the reason behind their parents’ divorce and assume the responsibility to mend the relationship (2) . This can lead to immense stress and pressure on the young mind, which can have several repercussions like negative thoughts and nightmares.
Mood swings and irritability: Young children may suffer from mood swings and become irritable even when interacting with familiar people. Some children will go into a withdrawal mode, where they stop talking to anyone and shut themselves away. The child will become quiet and prefer spending time alone.
Intense sadness: Acute sadness rushes through the heart and mind of the child. Nothing feels good in life, and the child may eventually plunge into depression, which is a long-term manifestation of this sadness.
Disillusion and distress: Children of divorce may feel hopeless and disillusioned because they do not have the comprehensive emotional support from their parents. This situation can become worse if the child is looked after by a single parent with no access to the other parent.
Short-term effects of divorce can hamper a child’s psychological and physiological growth, which can have a long-term impact.
Long-term impact of separation and divorce on children
Separation and divorce leave an enduring legacy in the lives of children affected by it. Children from broken homes are more likely to experience higher incidence of drug use, criminality, broken marriages in their own lives and depression. On every wellbeing indicator, kids who come from broken families do worse, in general, than children from intact, functioning families.
But it is not the separation alone that leads to such poor outcomes in children. Ongoing parental conflict has substantial impact on children's long-term outcomes. Research shows that your 'mess' has to be cleared up. No matter what happens, separation and divorce will have a negative impact on your children, but the longer the conflict lasts, the greater the impact is. It is really up to you and your spouse to sort it out like adults.Divorce is the most difficult phase of a married couple’s life. As adults, they might eventually get over the tough period, but children become a collateral casualty. Their minds are tender and can slip into a state of shock on seeing parents split forever.
The adverse effects of divorce can be long-lasting on children and may impact their own relationships.Long-Term Effects Of Divorce On Children:
Things can get rough for a child, who sees his parents bicker and separate. Their minds are still plastic that is they can easily get affected by the events happening around them. Following are the long-term effects of divorce on children:
6. Behavioral and social problems:
A child is at a greater risk of developing violent and antisocial behavior when the parents divorce. He or she may lose temper at the drop of a hat and show no hesitation assaulting someone. In the long run, it may lead to the development of a criminal mindset, especially during the adolescent years. Studies show that most children of divorce display the characteristic traits of aggression and disobedience with varying degree of intensity (3) . Extreme cases of these conditions make the child a social misfit.
7. Trouble with relationships:
When children grow seeing a marriage fail, they develop doubts about love and harmony in a relationship. They have trust issues and find it challenging to resolve conflicts in a relationship. Such children, as adults, will start any relationship with a negative mindset.
8. Prone to substance abuse:
Drugs and alcohol become the avenues for adolescents to vent out their frustration and anxiety. Research has shown a higher incidence of substance abuse in teens whose parents are divorced
(4) . Of course, there are other factors like the care provided by the single parent, which determine the adolescent’s tendency to have drugs. However, the probability of an adolescent succumbing to the temptation is considerably high. Long-term substance abuse has damaging effects on the well-being of the child.
9. Depression:
The feeling of anguish and heartbreak caused by parents’ divorce can make a child slip into depression. Depression is a mental health problem, and children who witness divorce have a higher incidence of depression and social withdrawal. Researchers note that divorce can be a contributing factor in cases of bipolar disorder observed in children (5) .
10. Poor education and socio-economic position:
The adverse psychological effects of divorce diminish a child’s interest in education. Children who experience the divorce of their parents show a drastic drop in their school grades (6) . It can significantly impede a child’s ability to learn at school and college. A stunted progress in education hampers career prospects of the child as an adult, which make it difficult to have a decent socio-economic status.
Divorce can take a toll on the children’s mental and physical health, but sometimes, separated parents are far better than quarreling parents. Don’t be surprised.
Separation and your child's development
Separation and divorce leave ugly, unwanted stains on the fabric of our children's lives. Children need their parents to be involved in their lives. Countless studies demonstrate significant benefits to children socially, cognitively, academically, psychologically, emotionally, and physically when their parents stay together and stay involved in their lives.
All children lose out when parents separate and divorce. They lose access to both of their parents when they need them, and this loss impacts profoundly on their development. When children are secure they thrive because they feel safe enough to explore, develop, learn, and grow. Separation creates insecurity, which threatens their development and exploration of the world. Instead, they put their energies into seeking reassurance rather than learning, experimenting, and growing.
You can be an ex-partner, but you can never be an ex-parent. You have the right to form and dissolve relationships, but your children have no choice. Your decisions have consequences beyond just you. What is in your best interest is not necessarily in your children's best interests. Children are a long-term responsibility. Parents should provide the best care and the best chance for their children to develop healthily, physically, emotionally and psychologically. To do this, except in cases of high volatility, abuse, or aggression, parents would be best to act like adults and put aside their difference to satisfy their children's long-term needs. Two parents working it out and being functional is what is best for your child. It's an old-fashioned idea, but as a parent we give up the right to do what we want when we want. Our children need to become our priority.
Comments
Post a Comment