It appears that it's uncomfortable for self-centered people to be attentive for more than five minutes before they draw attention back to themselves to make their point which they believe to be correct.
These behaviors may have their roots in certain behavioral or personality traits that influence how the self-centered person approaches his/her environment and interacts with others.
These traits loosely fall under the definition for Narcissistic Personality which may involve a cluster of traits or a clinical diagnosis of a personality disorder. This can produce behaviors that affect the individual's ability to have healthy social interactions and close personal relationships.Narcissistic Personality Disorder is said to possibly be a result of overly indulgent parenting styles. They include but are not limited to the following list of traits and characteristics:
Self-absorption
Excessive self-love
Need for admiration and/or fame
Lack of empathy or concern for others
Unrealistic sense of entitlement
Demanding
Manipulative
Vanity and preoccupation with appearance
Self-assured cockiness
Unfortunately, it is difficult to contend with a self-centered person whose behavior is most likely related to imbedded traits of their personality that may not easily change.
Self-centered people like things to be done their way and they are convinced that their way is the only right way. They do not like it if people do not behave or do things according to the way they want them done. They allow no scope for other people's opinions. Self-absorbed people also expect that their problems and needs should always be given top priority.
Self-absorbed people find it difficult to have long-lasting and fulfilling relationships. Since they are usually about the 'taking' and rarely about the 'giving', they cannot sustain emotionally strong relationships. Which is the reason why they are not always reliable. They are initially able to attract people with their charm and smooth talk, but soon, people find their self-absorbed banter, draining.
Self-absorbed and self-centered people only think of their own self and are not very considerate or empathetic towards others―if they are considerate, it is only because they are constantly calculating what the other person can do for them. In that way, the other person is only important because of their 'usefulness'.
Self-centered people consider themselves to be superior than the others around them―they therefore do not give others' opinions any importance and think that they're too good for them. In a conversation, self-centered people often cut someone's point to put forth their own. They hardly ever acknowledge others' involvement in a project. Nor do they contribute in group activities or projects that involve team work.
One of the most common characteristics of a self-absorbed person is that he/she always blames others for things not turning out the way they had hoped. This happens because they think that they can do no wrong.
As for interpersonal relationships, a self-centered people are fully capable of abandoning someone in order to satisfy their own needs. They usually make for fair weather friends. They do not show feelings of compassion, sympathy, or understanding towards others or the society in general.
Self-absorbed people often like to 'steal the show' and take credit for work. This person often brags about their achievements and have a tendency to make a major deal about something that might be quite minor to begin with. They need to be in the limelight and be the center of attention at all times and require constant praise and needs constant validation.
Self-indulgent people have a huge ego and they don't usually acknowledge their mistakes―in fact, they rarely ever apologize for the same. They do not listen to what others have to say and exhibit several traits of selfishness in this way.
Self-obsessed people are materialistic because inanimate objects can be controlled and manipulated. They are very, very possessive about their objects and the people around them and do not like to share anything.
Self-indulgent people care more about their self-image than anything else and want the world to revolve around them. In that way there is always a lack of empathy in relationships.
People who are self-centered share a lot of their traits with narcissistic behavior traits and therefore dealing with these kinds of people needs to be managed in the same way that narcissists are dealt with.
Self-indulgent people are indifferent to many things in society and other people because all their concentration is only on themselves and their needs.They put their happiness before anyone else. They do not encourage others to excel in any field. Anyone succeeding is not in their agenda. They pull people down with actions and harsh words.
Dealing with self-centered people can be very difficult and frustrating, especially if you are in a serious relationship with them. Those who are self-centered tend to treat the people badly because they view their partners as nothing more than objects that are in place to feed them emotionally. If you are romantically linked to someone who is self-centered, it’s almost as if you are stuck in a catch 22; if you leave, they will convince themselves you were not good enough, but if you stay, you validate their behavior by giving them the impression they are worth staying with, despite their abusive ways.
When dealing with a self-centered person, keep a few things in mind. The first is don’t try to change him or her.
The most important thing to remember when dealing with a self-centered person is to remain realistic. If you struggle with low self-esteem, being around someone who seems so confident may give you a temporary boost. In the long run, however, you are better off attending to the causes of your low self-image - even if it means a period of loneliness, Neuharth said.
If you think that you may be self-centered or narcissistic or if you have a loved one who is, therapy is often recommended so that you or your loved one can learn to form happy, healthy relationships.
How to Handle Those Annoying Behaviors
Ignore It - Remember, self-centered people thrive on attention. Let the road rager rage on, don't make eye-contact, focus on your own safe and defensive driving techniques, and keep your eyes on the road.
Deflect It - After giving the self-centered person sufficient time to go on and on, change the subject by asking a direct question that has nothing to do with them.
Validate It - Stroke the self-centered person's ego by validating his/her point of view; then offer your own. Remember, they just want to be acknowledged for being right.
Let It Go - It's not worth the stress to go back and forth with someone who is driven by his ego. Pick your battles, state your case, stand up for yourself, and let it go.
Avoid It - If possible, steer clear of annoying people and refrain from engagement. Put your time and energy into more positive people where you are more likely to have a productive experience.
WAYS TO STOP BEEN A SELF CENTERED PERSON.
Start paying attention to how people respond to you. If you take a second to stop focusing on you, you will be able to tell if someone is feeling upset, annoyed, or just plain bored. Pay attention to their tone of voice and whether their answers are curt. These are telltale indications that they are on the brink of walking away.
As telling as emotions are, don’t forget to pay attention to their body language. Nonverbal communication is just as important in gauging how someone feels about you. For example, if the people you’re with has their arms crossed, are leaning backwards, and are not making much eye contact with you, they are not huge fans of the conversation, or you, for that matter. Positive indications include plenty of eye contact, leaning in towards you, and standing with their feet slightly apart, with their arms loosely at their sides. Participation in the conversation is also a good sign.
Keep in mind that it is not just how people react to you in the present moment but also when you’re apart. Take your friends and colleagues, for example. Do they initiate contact and meet ups with you? Are you one of the top invitees if there’s ever a get-together?
Paying attention to whether people want to spend time with you is also another telling sign of whether they like you. Self-centered people may find this hard to admit and always think that they’re the life of the party, but that title is usually self-proclaimed.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Say you’re out with someone for coffee, and they’re telling you about the bad day that they had. Think about what you would like to hear in response if you were the one sharing.
Would you want that person to hijack the conversation and make it all about them? Would you want that person to ignore everything that you just said and bring up a completely unrelated topic? Would you want that person to scoff at what happened to you and boast about how they overcame an even more traumatic day? Doesn’t sound too pleasant, right? Well, that’s exactly how others feel when you try to make everything about you.
If you’re trying to be less self-centered, one way to do so is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Listen to what your friend is saying, smile, nod, and politely contribute to the conversation by asking related questions and offering sound advice without making it all about you.
Remember that people have their own lives too. People have their own ups and downs to deal with. It’s completely normal to want to be in the company of people you like, but when those people simply don’t have the time for you, don’t hold it against them. They’re not being jerks by refusing your invitation. They’re just living their lives.
Also, always consider the situations of the people you’re talking to because you never know just how selfish you sound, until you hear it from someone else. Case in point, don’t be the jerk who bitches about their “first world problemsto people who have real world problems to deal with.
Be proud, but don’t brag. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements. It’s not easy accomplishing something in today’s highly competitive world, so rightfully so, you should be happy about what you’ve done. With that being said, no one likes a showoff. Always be modest when publicizing your successes.
One way to do so is to recognize the help that you’ve received and to thank those who were there to lift you up.
Get involved in volunteering. Volunteering will help you quickly come to the painful realization that there are far more important things in the world than you. Remember that donating cash is not enough because the heart of volunteering lies in the time and effort you actually spend to help others out.
Whether you end up fighting for animal rights, human rights, raising awareness on HIV/AIDS, or anything else that you feel particularly passionate about, lend a hand to those in need, as it will open your eyes to a whole new world.
Comments
Post a Comment